Irony
by Dark Lord Link
Summary: Taki and Ivy both argue on who gets Link. A funny short one-shot I came up with out of the random. Surprise pairing. Not yuri or yaoi. Sorry. R&R please!


**A/N: I have no idea where I got this, but I hope you like it. Not my best work but still. Enjoy.**

**Soul Calibur: Irony**

"He's mine!" Taki argued. Ivy glared at her.

"No, he loves me, not some derranged Ninja." She retorted hotly.

"Why would Link want to be with a women who wears something like that? Your costume practically screams: 'look at me, I've slept with plenty of men'!" Taki criticised.

"I wouldn't talk if I were you. Look at your suit! I can see things my suit keeps in the wraps! At least my nipples don't show!" Ivy shot back, Taki made an exasperated sound as she got angrier.

Link, who was walking by and heard the too, stopped to listen. '_Those two are arguing again? Damn it..._' He thought.

"All right, what's the matter now." He said with a sigh as he walked up to the two who stared at each other with a killer glare.

"Link!" Taki exclaimed at seeing him with a heated blush. Ivy grinned and gave a seductive noise as she struck a pose.

Link began to sweat a little at Ivy's pose as he eyed the dominatrix. '_Okaaay, that was...wierd...and unexpected..._' He thought to himself.

"Oooh Link, like what you see?" She asked playfully. Taki turned to Ivy with fire in her eyes.

"I knew it! You just can't control yourself!" she accused. Link's sweating increased as his eyes went a little wider at the thoughts invading his head. He put two fingers over his eyes as he responded:

"Alright, I have no idea what is going on here, but seriously. This is the second time in thirty minutes you two have argued." Link commented. He felt a tug on his arm, looking he saw Ivy clinging to him with some sultry glints in her eyes.

"Uhh..." Link could only get out as his blushed a deep red. Ivy giggled as Taki made some angry noises and grabbed Link's left arm.

"He's mine, Ivy! Leave him alone!" She shouted. Link gave her a 'what the hell are you talking about?' look as Taki started pulling on his arm. Ivy pulled on Link's right arm as well.

"No, you let go! Link is all mine, no one elses!" she shouted back. Link was seriously questioning his courage now as the two only succeeded in scaring him. He pulled free of them and walked off some to give him some space as he talked.

"You guys are seriously starting to spook me out! What in Din's name is going on here?" He demanded. '_And I'm supposed to be a Dungeon Crawler..._' He thought sarcastically. Taki who was still blushing from her previous actions, spoke up first.

"Link, who would you prefer to be with: me or _that_?" she asked, shooting a disgusted look at Ivy who 'hmph'-ed in response while giving Link a smile on a sensual level.

'_Oh great, when the hell did this happen?_' he asked himself mentally with a sigh. Before he could respond, Sophitia walked up to him outta nowhere and kissed him passionately as she wrapped her arms around his neck and back.

"Hey..." she greeted when she broke. Link gave her a smile in response.

"Better hurry Link, Maxi's ship is leaving soon and he doesn't like his passengers taking there time. Don't be late okay?" she informed him softly and lovingly.

"Got it, Sophitia. I'll be right there." he assured, recieving a peck on his lips from her. Ivy and Taki who watched the whole thing with wide eyes and dropped jaws stared stupidly at Sophitia's back as she left the area.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked them with a sheepish look.

"WHAT THE-?" Ivy started, the rest was drowned out as it wasn't very safe language.

"Heh, Rothion left her and took the kids because of Tira, so she and I got together. Sorry guys. But we're still friends, right?" he asked them as he started leaving. He couldn't help but laugh quietly at the stupified looks they shared.

"I don't believe it...When did I go wrong...? Was it the saki? I swear it was Mitsurugi's!" Taki shouted to Link's back who didn't hear her because he was too far away.

"Maybe I wasn't as sexy as I should have been..." Ivy mused. Taki's shocked face became neutral as she slowly turned to Ivy who had a thoughtful face on. Ivy looked at her and noticed the expression, it was one that said 'Are you serious? Is that all you think about?' Ivy shrugged.

"If it gets me a man, I could care less." she stated. Taki sighed and started walking away.

"What?" Ivy asked as she followed.

**END**

**A/N: XD Okay, I had that crazy idea on my head since yesterday and decided I had to share it with you all, hopefully you had a good laugh! R&R!**


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